23 March 2008

A Time to Reflect

I was going to write an additional post concerning that report in the Washington Post, but suddenly I am simply too tired.

I was so mad when I read that womans comments, so damn mad. I felt she has disrespected my friends, the show, the cast and me. I took it very hard, but I have to admit that it is also because of what else is going on in my life right now.
That was not fair for me to do, to jump down her throat the way I did. It was too easy, and obviously this is her MO, so attacking her was not going to get her to say, "oh gosh, you know I was a jerk there, wasn't I?"

Yes, I am upset over Jericho being canceled, I feel like I can not breath. Weird to react like that over a TV show huh?
Well, as someone so nicely pointed out in a recent comment to me, I am a housewife, with children. I became attached to Jericho for the awesome show it is, but also because I needed an outlet to give my heart too.

When I began blogging Jericho, I was such a newbie at the whole online life, and in many ways I still am. But I have grown so much since the May of 07 Nuts Campaign. As the campaign began to grow I made so many wonderful friends and was a participant in some thing larger than myself.
When I was younger, I did not pay attention to politics or frankly the lives of others. As I got older I began the journey into who I am, really am. Jericho in my opinion honed this travel so much. I have learned to trust, to be open to the fact that I am human and do make mistakes. I have learned that I belong to something greater than myself, a entire planet of souls. And I learned that people are so amazing, so beautiful.

I will be perfectly honest, I do not want Jericho to end. I do not want to think about how the daily visits to the boards will stop, or how our resolve will be messed with by CBS again, or worse yet how I may never get to interact with my friends anymore. I would miss you all so much.

But as I said, I am very tired all of a sudden, and I am not sure that I can keep up with another campaign. I want to be the person who supports everyone in every effort they have to save this show, I really do.

Today is Easter Sunday, and if you're a Christian you know the significance of today, rebirth of hope. I want to be able to say I know Jericho will be reborn, but right now CBS has made me feel that the only thing I can be sure of in life is no matter how attached I am to a thing, it will eventually be taken away.

I feel that as far as CBS is concerned I just did not matter, not one tiny bit. They are so big, I am so small. I wish we had a Jake, a Hawkins, to keep us ( me) in high spirits, to tell us that it looks bad now, but we can do this we just have to believe in each other and will we succeed.

I really thought that CBS was proud of us, of what we did, proud to call us their fans. What a dope I am.

I am not writing this to say I quit this fight, I just needed to let some things out I guess and this is my only place to do that. I am just so tired.


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